To Drink or Not to Drink?

That is the question—at least for those of us trying to lose weight. Should we indulge ourselves and then suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous guilt for consuming empty calories? Or should we abstain?

Last week, my girlfriend Deborah Wagner, a registered nurse, and I had an animated debate on this subject over a wineless lunch. Both of us work to maintain our weight between 128 and 132 pounds. Given our commitment, lunches inevitably begin with a self-assessment on how we’re doing, followed by the latest insights.

When the topic of wine came up, Deborah argued on behalf of the daily sip. As head of our community’s wellness program, Deborah is well informed, whereas my contrary point of view was strictly personal. Although my mind was made up, I was willing to listen.

Deborah asserted that her nightly glass of red wine is medically beneficial. She cited research claiming that a daily glass of red wine improves heart health, may prevent tumors from growing and may also improve nerve function. Preventing or delaying heart disease, cancer and Alzheimer’s should be reason enough, Deborah said, to enjoy a glass of wine. She quickly added, however, that if a person didn’t drink wine, they shouldn’t begin. However, for Deborah, the immediate benefit was the relaxing effect of wine. The nightly ritual made the transition from work to home seamless.

Best of all, Deborah said, a glass of wine helps individuals maintain their weight. She based her assertion on researchstating that people who consume a single drink a few times each week have a lower risk of obesity than teetotalers or heavy drinkers have. I could understand the connection between heavy drinking and surplus pounds, but I was surprised that a moderate amount of alcohol helped individuals stay trim.

My argument against indulging was not scientifically based but was nonetheless compelling to me. I seem incapable of drinking only one glass of red wine. If one glass tastes good, then the second glass tastes even better. I’ve also noticed that if I drink a glass of red wine with dinner, I crave sugar later in the evening. While the wine doesn’t cost too many calories, the sugared dessert I can no longer resist certainly does. In addition to consuming surplus calories, I feel less rested upon rising the following day. Throughout the day, my energy level is lower than usual even as my appetite is ratcheted up.

I’m 15 years older than Deborah, so our age difference might explain the different physiological reaction I reported. Or maybe I just have different body chemistry.

Had I been more prepared, I could have buttressed my antiwine argument by citing the dangers associated with drunkorexia, the latest eating disorder. This unofficial term describes individuals (mainly women) who starve themselves all day so they can indulge in alcohol later without feeling guilty about consuming too many calories. This abuse of alcohol leads to malnutrition, organ damage and weak bones. Treatment is complicated because the disorder is frequently part of a larger complex of dysfunctional behaviors, such as bulimia and anorexia.

Debbie and I ended our lunch without resolving our differing opinions on the value of a daily glass of red wine—we agreed to disagree. Like the good friends that we are, though, we had no problem agreeing on our next lunch date.

What’s your perspective?

"Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake."                Bible, 1 Timothy v. 23

Ten Essential Lessons to Build Body Esteem

Kathy Kater is a nationally recognized expert in eating disorders and created the Healthy Body Image curriculum for the island of Kauai. She also is the author of Real Kids Come in All Sizes.

Kater’s ideas for young people are highlighted in the January-February 2007 issue of Inspiration, Hawaii’s Wellness Journal, and apply to people all ages: 

1. Accept your body’s genetic predisposition. All bodies are wired to be heavier, thinner or in-between.

2. Understand that all bodies change developmentally. Puberty, pregnancy, menopause and aging cannot be controlled.

3. Never diet. Hunger is an internally regulated drive and demands to be satisfied. If you diet, you trigger overeating and a preoccupation with food.

4. Satisfy your body with plenty of wholesome, nutrient-rich foods.

5. Limit sedentary entertainment.

6. To find your optimal natural weight, eat healthfully and maintain an active lifestyle.

7. Choose realistic role models.

8. Maintain your integrity as a person. Your sense of identity is based on many aspects including values you believe in and the person that you are deep inside—not just your body image.

9. Become media savvy. Educate yourself about manipulative advertising and other factors that lead you to buy products or foods that aren’t good for you or that make you feel deficient.

10. Encourage others to join you in developing a healthy, realistic body image.

Kater’s insights underscore a simple truth: how you see yourself determines your daily choices, and the cumulative effect of moment-by-moment decisions shapes your future. Instead of looking for a path that will carry you forward into the future of your dreams, make your own path. As you self-confidently forge ahead, you will achieve a healthier body image—and by your example, you will help others achieve their goals.

Kater has encapsulated a lifetime of work in these ten items. I think you’ll agree that the list is worth saving, rereading from time to time and sharing with others.

Because I found Kater’s ideas so valuable, I sent this article to Gabby Reece, world-class athlete and beautiful young mother. Her staff posted it on Gabby’s site (www.gotogabby.com) on October 6. Go here for the full article.

"Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves."                Nathaniel Branden

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: Searching for the Keys to Weight Loss

For 40 years, I wandered alone in the harsh and unforgiving wilderness of diets and tried desperately to lose weight. I tried every popular fad diet in an effort to return my body to its youthful shape so that one morning I could look down and see a number on the bathroom scale that wouldn’t send me into despair.

The most memorable diet was the “three-meals-of-cabbage-soup-a-day” diet—if only because my kids hated the smell of cooked cabbage.

I thought if I found the right diet, however bizarre or unhealthy, the surplus pounds would disappear and I could be happy again. I would rise each morning determined to follow my strict regimen. By the time I went to bed, I had engaged in unplanned eating (the name I gave to eating everything I planned and lots more). The “Just Say No” campaign didn’t work.

In retrospect, I can see that I was like the man who, when trying to unlock his car parked on a dark street, drops his car keys. Crawling around on his hands and knees in the blackness of the night, he searches unsuccessfully for his keys. After several minutes, the man realizes that finding his keys would be easier if it weren’t so dark. Spotting a lamppost 50 feet away, he walks to the lighted area. Once again, the man begins crawling around on the ground and searching for his keys.

A passerby finds the behavior odd and stops to ask the man what he is looking for.

When the searcher explains that he is looking for keys that he dropped near his car up the street, the passerby looks perplexed. “If you dropped the keys over there, why are you looking for them here?” he asks. “Because,” the man replies, “I need light. I can’t find my keys in the dark.”

This story explains much of my frustrating effort to lose weight. For years, I tried and failed. Then I tried again and failed again. I failed because I searched for the key to weight loss inside the pantry and refrigerator—where there were lights—rather than inside me. I was looking for comfort, reassurance and love in all the wrong places.

When I stepped on the scale shortly before my 60th birthday and the scale broke, my history with failed searches became irrelevant. In a single moment, I experienced a breakthrough: I adopted a different point of view. For years, I saw my problem of obesity as one of simply eating too much. The solution would be to eat less. I was wrong.

Overeating was not the problem—it was the solution. Overeating was an effective (albeit fattening) solution to problems that were hidden from view. The overeating—which I brutally criticized myself for—was my creative way of coping with difficulties.

To succeed long term, I would have to pinpoint the problems that ultimately led to consuming more food than my body needed. Identifying these problems and finding healthier solutions were new and exciting tasks that required observational skills.

By paying attention, I discovered that two conditions—physical and emotional—triggered overeating. If I became ravenously hungry or overly fatigued, I misused food as a solution to my physical discomfort. If I became sad, depressed, angry or anxious, I turned to food for love and comfort.

When I looked back at the occasions when I overate, I could see the wisdom embedded in the acronym HALT, which advises those of us who want to make behavior changes to be vigilant when we are in one of four dangerous states: Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. This acronym is used to counsel individuals seeking relief from excessive stress and individuals overcoming drug and alcohol addition or other dysfunctional habits including overeating. Food was simply my drug of choice and the solution to my problems.

Armed with this insight, my first strategy was to manage myself. I paid attention to my eating schedule so I didn’t get ravenously hungry. I noticed if I was angry or anxious. I began reaching out to family and friends to counter my sense of loneliness. And finally, I decided to stay more rested.

But life happens. It isn’t always possible to avoid these conditions. Despite my best intentions, I can end the day starving, anxious, isolated or fatigued. But now I am more willing to recognize these feelings, and I know that they need to be honored with a solution that nourishes my spirit rather than adds unneeded fuel to my body. When I am in any one of the four states (God forbid I am in all four at once), after acknowledging my feelings, I have to figure out how I can comfort myself in a healthful way.

Sometimes, I simply need a reassuring conversation with myself, a hug from my husband or a “walk and talk” with a friend. Other times, I need to telephone one of my sisters. And when I become overly tired, I give in to my body and go to bed early because I know that my optimistic outlook will return in the morning. With this awareness, I can manage myself through the crisis. And when I do succumb to temptation and revert to my old ways, I simply pick myself up the following day and begin anew.

One of my favorite expressions is “You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.” I could never eat enough food because food wasn’t what I needed. Instead of stuffing my feelings, I needed to face them and find healthier ways to comfort myself. I stopped looking for love in the refrigerator and cupboard—in all the wrong places. Instead, I found my personal keys to fitness and weight loss in the only place they could ever be found—within me.

I achieved this insight late in life. Hopefully, you can take advantage of my delayed learning curve to achieve your weight-loss goals.

Examining a Family’s Coping System Can Help Weight Loss

When we decide to lose weight, we don’t have to look far for reliable information about diet and exercise. Finding and maintaining the emotional will to change lifetime habits is a more difficult, but critical, requirement for success.

According to Kathy Sheffield, a therapist and registered dietician, individuals may be in a better position to live without overeating when they understand how overeating functions in their lives. She asserts that the answer can be found by examining a family’s emotional coping system. For example, when family members relate to each other in a dysfunctional manner, they may unwittingly adapt to the difficult situation at the cost of their own well-being. The resulting conflict and inner tension is managed through food.

One interesting study observed that weight loss occurred at least temporarily when the family system changed. Without exception, the desire to lose weight appeared when a shift in a relationship changed the emotional climate for the dieter.

In one case, a husband's became more emotionally available when his job changed. In another, a difficult relationship with a mother-in-law became manageable after the family moved. Once the emotional climate improved, the dieter was able to make changes. If the climate shifted back, weight was regained.

According to Sheffield, therapy can help individuals discover the link between relationships and eating disorders and offers new possibilities in weight-loss success.

"To err is dysfunctional, to forgive codependent" Berton Averre

Would You Walk a Mile for a Doctor?

If you’re a patient of Dr. David Sabgir’s, you might find yourself doing just that. Every Saturday at 8:30 a.m., rain or shine, Dr. Sabgir heads out on a walk at Highbanks Metropolitan Park in Lewis Center, Ohio, with 175 to 200 patients, neighbors, friends and family members.

Three years ago, after unsuccessfully admonishing his patients to lose weight, Dr. Sabgir had a flash of insight. Why not walk with his patients every Saturday morning? During the walk, patients, along with their family and friends, would have the opportunity to talk with medical professionals to learn how to take care of their health. By becoming more active, patients could alter the course of anticipated heart disease and improve the quality of their lives.

The project quickly became a family affair. Dr. Sabgir’s wife, Kristin, began bringing lower-calorie fare to the walks to demonstrate healthy snacks. Alexandria (age 9) and Charlie (age 7) joined the walks. Dr. Sabgir’s father telephones weekly reminders to participants without access to e-mail. Other volunteers who joined the effort include nurses who provide free blood-pressure checks, an exercise physiologist who leads and closes the program with appropriate stretches and sponsors who provide free pedometers. Healthy recipes, samples of the recipes and nutritional weight-loss tips are provided each week. Participants can also receive a free one-hour counseling session with a registered dietician.

Dr. Sabgir, a board-certified cardiologist, practices with clinical cardiology specialists at McConnell Heart Hospital and Grady Memorial Hospital. Through these organized weekly walks, Dr. Sabgir has found a way to encourage healthy physical activity in people of all ages, sizes, shapes, physical conditions, ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds.

Dr. Sabgir considers the diversity of the walking group to be its strength. He says, “The diversity of the group is most apparent when you see a young mother pushing her newborn in a stroller alongside a couple in their 90s. Both obese walkers and endurance athletes share in the benefit of education and exercise.”

With Ohio’s obesity rate approaching 27 percent, Dr. Sabgir has a big job. His state ranks 17th among the 50 states. Moreover, the numbers on the scales of Ohio citizens—and of the rest of the nation—are heading up. Even more worrisome is the fact that interventions—whether undertaken by medical personnel, private companies or government entities—have yet to reverse the trend. Dr. Sabgir’s has designed his volunteer efforts to do just that by creating a greater awareness and commitment to health among residents in his community.

Besides making new friends and having fun, patients learn the medical benefits of walking. Exercise helps patients feel less tired, decreases stress, aids in weight loss and weight control, lowers blood pressure and cholesterol levels and improves circulation.

If you’d like to learn more about the Walk with a Doc program, you can sign up for Dr. David Sabgir’s newsletter, e-mail Dr. Sabgir at contact@walkwithadoc.org or call 614.273.8030.

"I have two doctors, my left leg and my right."

G. M. Trevelyan

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Will You Help Me Become Friends with My Body?

This letter came to me from a reader. I wanted to share it because many of you will be able to relate to what she says.

Dear Carole:

About 10 years ago, The Body Shop ran a campaign that showed a plus-size Barbie on a sofa and the words, "There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and 8 who do. Learn to love your body." That was a huge statement. I bought up the magnets and gave them to every woman I cared about.

I turned a corner when I became conscious of the critic in my head that said I couldn't be acceptable unless I looked a certain way. I think women in particular are raised to nurture that critic. We're taught to listen to it. For as long as I can remember, I’ve looked in mirrors and dissected the things that are wrong with me. The nose. The hair. The legs.

Lately though, I've started to appreciate that this body is what I'm going to live in for the rest of my life, and I might as well make friends with it. It takes me where I want to go and is the source of my physical and emotional responses to the world.

Today, I don't want to get fit to become more acceptable or meet some outside ideal. I just want to be healthy and active as long as I'm in this body.

On some level, I think I owe my body an apology. I'm sorry for starving you; overfeeding you; purging you; and manically exercising you, then completely neglecting you. I'm okay with the waxing and dyeing—you'll just have to deal with that. But seriously, want to go for a walk and catch up on how things really are? I think I'm ready to be friends. J.E., Walnut Creek, CA

Isn’t this a wonderful conclusion to her letter? Becoming friends with our bodies is a powerful idea whose time has come.

"Getting my lifelong weight struggle under control has come from a process of treating myself as well as I treat others in every way."

Oprah Winfrey